The Cage

So I keep myself locked in a cage...metaphorically. Why? Well inside the cage I don't have to eat, no one can touch or abuse me in any way, I don't have to face my fears, I don't really even need to feel too much, I am safer. Sure the cage is dark and there is constant screaming but still it is better...or is it? These are my wonderings for the moment. I am so afraid to leave the cage because I don't want to be traumatized again and I don't really know how to live my life. The eating disorder is all I know....I really loathe myself. No matter what I do I am just not going to be good enough.