I'm back!

I have been in hospital (intensive care unit) because of my asthma...just got out of hospital today...seriously fml. I have no immune system and I always come out of hospital heavier than when I went in...this time my blood pressure kept tanking so they kept pumping me full of IV fluids...I have gained ten pounds in a week...FUCK! I feel so out of control right now. Starting tomorrow I am back on my 500 cal or less meal plan. I have to get this weight off and fast. I could hardly do up my jeans! I feel so ugly and dirty right now. I don't even have ankles right now...just looks like tree trunks :(