I have been inspired by my PT friends to start a blog. I think it will be a good way to release feelings and offer me opportunity for reflection. I have been feeling quite unwell lately. I have had multiple infections and about 5 rounds of antibiotics now. I guess my immune system is on holiday.
I am very focussed on losing weight and I wish it could happen faster. I feel like a stranger in my monster body. I feel like I am locked in a cage sometimes and I am not sure who holds the key. Here is a poem that desrcibes my current state of mind:
Can you hear my screams?
I am not breathing, don't you understand?
anxiety grips my soul
tattered and beaten, gasping
such a fool, hiding beneath a mask
what is the truth?
perfect angel, tattered feathers
gasping, lingering
my refuge
I am not afraid, as I hold my last breath
do you hear me?
sweet rapture
life ends here tonight
I am so tired
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